Sometimes life gets crazy and we get stressed out. Sometimes life throws so much at us, we wonder if we can possibly survive one more blow. I'm at that point. The point of wondering if I can take any more. I have had so many things hit me in the past couple weeks that I find myself physically in pain, sleepless, and crying at the drop of a hat. I know it is unhealthy and I want to rise above it all. One foot in front of the other; one day at a time. I survive with those thoughts carrying me along.
Then tonight I stumbled upon something I wrote last year following Christmas; a blog entry that was misfiled in a strange place on my computer. After a year, it suddenly popped up in front of me. It was like a message telling me to hang on longer, be stronger. A reminder that I'll make it through again this year just as I did last year as my Grandmother was placed in a memory care facility for her battle with Alzheimer's, while one of my children chose a dangerous path that worried me, and as I struggled to keep my head above the water financially and physically.
Here is what I wrote:If you believe..........sometimes magic happens!
"I had one of the most stressful pre-Christmas seasons ever this year. Between being sick for over a week and a half and having a lot of family things going on, I struggled to keep the holiday spirit alive in my house and had very little time to focus on holiday preparations. But through it all, my absolute LOVE of Christmas carried me through. One thing I held onto was the dream of a white Christmas. I haven't seen snow on Christmas since my girls were toddlers and I just felt I needed it this year. So I believed. I believed even thought the weatherman said it would rain. I believed even though everyone reminded me it hardly ever snows in Seattle on Christmas. I believed even when I woke up and it wasn't there. I believed and guess what....?! IT SNOWED!!!! We looked up as we were unwrapping gifts and saw that the rain was beginning to mix with snow. Then it turned all to snow. And it snowed for hours! And to me it was as though the Lord whispered into my ear, "Here you go. Thanks for believing and hanging in when the going got rough." In that second all the frustrations of the pre-holiday season washed away and my world was at total peace. My Christmas spirit bucket was once again overflowing with love, faith and joy. It was my favorite holiday gift and it didn't even require fancy wrapping or a bow!"
I had just been thinking about how much a white Christmas would mean to me this year the other day. I had completely forgotten that for a brief part of the day, we enjoyed one last year.
Funny how sometimes we forget in the midst of stress and frustration the simple joys that are bestowed upon us. Our gratitude slips away as we seek for help for new problems. So this Thanksgiving remember that even in times of adversity, there are many things to be thankful for. Moments that warmed our hearts. Small things that brought great joy. And people we are blessed to share our lives with.
I am thankful for many things, but mostly my family and friends who are there for me, supporting me and loving me unconditionally. And for a heart that can see goodness even during the storm, and for the faith that assures me I'll make it through one more time.
enjoy a holiday filled with reflections of all that you love and are thankful for.