Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A Nest Near Empty...

Every Mother faces it.
Some Mothers dread it. Some Mothers rejoice in it.

I stand somewhere in the middle.

My youngest daughter is moving out on her own this week. While I am happy for her and excited to see her excitement, I cannot say that it comes without great sadness.

I will miss her daily ritual of popping into my office each morning to say hello. Her whimsical ways and bouncy nature filling the house. Her smile lighting up each day. Her endless chatter. Her help whenever I need it. Her laughter. Her presence.

But I know she won't be far away and she'll still call...a lot. And she'll come by for food...a lot. And we'll still do our lunches and pedicures and shopping trips. It will just need to be a little more planned out.

I realize after she's gone her presence will still linger in many ways. Her fuschia bedroom walls will remain that color with some of the decor left in place; her award winning photo will stay behind; her mementos of high school, competitive cheer and growing up will remain in my studio waiting to be scrapbooked; Her spot in the driveway will still have those pesky oil spots. So much of her will be here even when she is not. Little things to remind me of all the incredible joy she has brought me over the years. Little reminders of the way life used to be before this new chapter arrived.

I often find myself tearing up, wanting to push back the hands of time and go slower. I want another chance to do all the little things I didn't make time for or do well enough, to soak in every second that I may have wasted thinking I had more time.

And then I remember how it felt when I moved out. Feeling so grown up; like I was suddenly in charge of my own destiny. How excited I was to decorate my first place and make my own rules. And I smile at the memories and realize this is the moment she'll look back upon.

It is scary to think of the steps that will follow....a wedding, babies. But then I realize how much joy those future steps will bring. That we must make this step in order to reach those. And I am excited.

The hands of time will not spin backwards; they will move forward at rapid fire pace. We must remember to savor each second. Take time to live in each moment. To be grateful for each joy we encounter in this new chapter.

enjoy the new chapters in your life,

1 comment:

Tracy said...

Oh, gosh... this touches my heart. My oldest is almost 18 and I wonder what next year will bring after HS. My youngest is only 10, but I see time flying at amazing speeds. GULP.